I’m a full-time volunteer for the National Park Service. I speak to hundreds of people monthly and have a front-row seat to visitor dynamics. I see retired couples, young families, single adults, and childless couples. I listen and learn about their lives and relationships. This sharing has prompted my interest in love, relationships, and aging.
Long-term relationships, be they married or domestic partnerships, negatively and positively affect aging. When you have spent a lifetime together some couples find changes that benefit them. They have less conflict than in middle age, greater sources of joy (like grandchildren and time together), similar levels of health and mental well-being, and less division between the roles of males and females.
However martial strain can have negative effects on aging. The stress of an unhappy marriage can worsen physical disabilities, and harm mental health which results in a poor quality of life. The connection between marital quality and health intensifies with age and is more pronounced for women than men. Some older couples choose to live apart from their committed long-term partners, with each maintaining their own home. Divorce after 30 years of marriage is fairly common too. A marriage breakdown after 30 years may be due to empty nest syndrome, different interests, and retirement, where some spouses just want their independence.
Long-term marriages and partnerships can be strengthened by supporting each other, spending quality time together, and having fun and intimacy. Try making plans for the future, discussing fears and plans, showing love and respect, and not fighting. These tips can help find common ground and establish a connection that longevity brings into your relationship.
There are interesting statistics on aging and marriage. In 2022, research found 54.2% of adults 70 and over were married, with 67.9% being first marriages. In 2018 research showed 41% of marriages had reached their 25th anniversary and only 8% reached 50 years.
Only 2% reach their 60 years. Many factors affect these facts including widowhood, divorce, and estrangement.
If you find yourself single by choice or widowhood, dating can be a positive experience. As we age our life experiences redefine traditional relationships. It is now possible to find love relationships based on friendship, and companionship. There is no longer the drive to marry and have a family. The possibilities of finding companionship and a successful relationship are high. This is due to knowing ourselves better, and valuing companionship and friendship. Here are some dating tips for seniors:
- Be Honest – Be yourself, don’t change yourself. Be honest about your age and who you are. Set boundaries and know what you want.
- Build Trust – Be clear on expectations and trust your gut. Take it slow and take the time to get to know someone.
- Be Safe – Meet in public places. Meet for coffee. Tell friends and family members where you are going and who you are meeting. Don’t share financial information and don’t give away money.
- Don’t Share Personal Information – Safeguard personal information. Don’t share financial or personal information.
- Red Flags – Don’t rush intimacy, look for inconsistencies and commitment avoidance.
For older adults, dating can be exciting and fun. It can provide companionship, intimacy, and even physical health benefits. Finding a new romance can be exhilarating and offers health and mental benefits. Research shows that companionship and love can reduce stress, increase longevity, and improve heart health. There are a variety of ways to meet new people, from mutual connections to social groups and gatherings to online options. Let’s talk about healthy ways to meet new people.
–Volunteer – This is a great way to meet people with like-minded interests while providing a service to others! There are opportunities at the national, state, and local levels for volunteering. Choose your passion, find a park, charity, or organization, and set yourself up to meet someone new
–Online Dating – If you are computer savvy and want a venue for your tech skills, there are many online dating services. We will share the Forbes list of the top 5 online dating services for seniors for 2024:
1. Eharmony – #1 dating site for seniors https://www.eharmony.com/
2. DateMyAge – 100% senior verified profiles https://www.datemyage.com/
3. SilverSingles – Membership only exclusive site for seniorshttps://dating.silversingles.com/
4. Zoosk – Great for senior dating https://www.zoosk.com/
5.Tawkify – Personalized recommendations from senior matchmaking pros https://tawkify.com/
–Reconnect With Old Friends – Do you have a lost love from high school or college? Is there someone in your past that is “the one who got away?” This is the perfect time of life to reach out, catch up, and possibly reconnect!
-Join A Group – Do you have a favorite activity? If you do, chances are there is a group of others that do too. Do some research and find local, regional, or national communities and join. This is a perfect way to meet someone new.
Take A Class – Learning new things combats cognitive decline in aging. Taking a class to learn a new skill or acquire knowledge can open the door to meeting new people. If there is a subject that interests you, take a class and maybe meet someone too!
Building connections with others is part of healthy holistic aging. The benefits of having a partner to share life with are immense. We live longer, have fuller lives, and see better physical and mental health. Growing older has provided us with a perspective on love that opens doors to more fulfilling relationships. Finding friendship and companionship are as important as an intimate love relationship. Whether you are in a long-term committed relationship, dating, or just have friends, the benefits are the same.
Silver Chats understands the struggle with isolation and loneliness that come with aging. There are many ways of building and maintaining close relationships with others. The beauty of growing older is being able to accept the changes that accompany aging. We have the opportunity to find love in ways we never imagined in our earlier years. We are only limited by our fears and self-imposed boundaries. There are endless possibilities in aging. You just have to open your heart.