How I Found Timeless Love In Aging (Original blog from April 8, 2024)
I recently experienced the loss of a love. I was surprised at the intensity of emotions and the physical pain I found myself feeling. It had been a long time since I’d felt that way. The physical, emotional, and mental discomfort was palpable, and there it was. I realized that emotional pain and mental suffering from losing love is no different at sixty-six than at sixteen.
The emptiness and void left behind was there. The physical gut-wrenching and loss of appetite were present. The loss of focus and rumination set in mentally. I couldn’t sleep or move. Yup! Just like it was at sixteen.
I thought that aging brought wisdom. Where was that life wisdom to help me through this pain? Why was it just as painful as in earlier life? As I asked myself these questions, I began to understand the differences. It wasn’t about the pain of the loss but about my reaction to the loss.
Looking back, I often reacted to loss with anger and intense emotional upheaval. I would focus my energy on the negative past. I would build up defense mechanisms and indulge in bitterness. I would cast blame and build resentment. It was oftentimes ugly, painful, and full of hurt.
This time, I chose another approach. I opened my heart to all the discomfort. I sat with it and didn’t try to diminish it. I practiced breathing and calming techniques. I focused on the positives of the past. I looked at myself and the other person with love, understanding, and compassion. I looked for a way to find peace in accepting the situation and calm in letting go of what I couldn’t control.
I couldn’t believe I’d found it. The wisdom in aging. It wasn’t about my feelings of loss; it was about how I reacted to it. Life wisdom taught me that the only thing I can control is myself and my behaviors. By choosing to come from a place of love, my heart softened. The peace and calmness I sought gave me clarity of thought and mind. I was able to understand the situation and accept it without bitterness. The love that once was remains in my heart.
I then took time to reflect on other people and passions I love. I found the same thoughts and feelings arise. I was surprised. My love has evolved. It’s no longer based on reciprocal or conditional need. I no longer carry the expectations of young love. I love because it makes me happy. I love because it brings me joy. I love because it makes me feel good.
When did this happen? The benefit of age is perspective. We have the opportunity to use our life wisdom to not repeat the mistakes of the past. We can learn from them and choose to react differently. We can choose love over hate, kindness over anger, understanding over judging, and calmness over chaos.
This is the timeless love that aging brings. It’s love based on giving, not receiving. It heals, soothes, and brings calmness. I’ve learned how important it is to love myself and to never forget it’s power. I’ve learned the value of love. It is the source of joy and happiness. In its purest state, love is transparent and unattached. There is no greater force in life.
What I’ve learned is leading from a place of love brings compassion, understanding, and kindness to everyday life. Every conversation, interaction, and encounter changes. There is less conflict, better outcomes, and calmer days. The more you open your heart, the greater the results. We all try to improve our relationships with others and ourselves.
My life wisdom helped me to recognize past destructive behaviors. It showed me that embracing the power of timeless love brings joy and serenity to my life. I learned that by embracing its power, I could change my life for the better. This is how I found timeless love in aging.
Holistic practices include accepting life changes. It is a time to assess our past and redefine our future. Choosing to react differently to the loss and pain that accompanies us into old age greatly affects the outcome. Finding timeless love and bringing it into use daily will ensure a life of endless possibilities.
It’s been cathartic to share my story. I hope it brings about positive self-reflection and the desire to seek out timeless love.