I read an article recently that said the best-kept secret in aging was thriving love and intimacy. I tend to agree. I met the love of my life at age 64. I had been single for 12 years and had no plans to date or meet someone. After a lifetime of unsuccessful relationships, I accepted my single status as permanent and was fine with it. He was a total surprise, and although we have an unconventional relationship, it works for both of us. I experienced the psychology of aging love firsthand, and I am here to exalt the beauty of it.
What is the psychology of aging love? It is the kind of love that comes from a lifetime of experiences and is different from our younger years. We have confidence, life experience, and a better idea of who and what we want in a relationship. There are emotional and psychological benefits to romantic relationships as we age. Love and companionship can lead to increased happiness, a reduction in loneliness, and a renewed sense of purpose. A love relationship can enhance mental well-being by buffering feelings of depression, anxiety, and poor self-worth.
Intimacy can boost your immune system, help manage pain, lower blood pressure, and burn calories. It is a fallacy that love and intimacy aren’t meant for aging; it’s quite the opposite; they flourish.
The pursuit of love has no age limit. If anything, as we age, we have the opportunity to redefine the meaning of a loving relationship. Our attention is less focused on physical attraction, with an emphasis on companionship and friendship. Shared experiences and mutual understanding and interests become more important, and emotional intimacy is a cornerstone of connection. It’s more important to find the right person instead of a physical attraction.
If you look at dating profiles for seniors, you will notice searches for fun-loving, compassionate, honest, and shared interests as criteria. The priorities for companionship include emotional connections, shared experiences, physical health, and intimacy. We are living longer, have more active lifestyles, and are more health-conscious than previous generations. Growing older is no longer synonymous with frailty, inactivity, or loss of sexuality. We now see television shows like The Golden Bachelor and Bachelorette that highlight these facts.
So what does love look like as we age? We talked about a deeper focus on companionship, shared interests, friendship, and emotional intimacy. The key points of love in aging are:
- Companionate love: the primary focus is on companionship and friendship, sharing like activities, and enjoying each other’s company.
- Emotional intimacy: a deep connection through open communication, sharing vulnerabilities, and finding a safe place to exchange past, present, and future.
- Shared history: the value of sharing life experiences, memories, and stories is more important than beginning all over again.
- Mutual support: being a companion and offering a support system providing comfort and assistance with health issues and life transitions
- Respect and appreciation: acceptance of each other; the wisdom of age provides a perspective that allows us to be ourselves and find joy in each other’s differences
- Less emphasis on physical attraction: although we are still attracted to the physical appeal of another person, it is less important than the kind of person we are.
- Adapting to physical changes: we are more apt to adjust our intimacy in our relationships to meet the physical restrictions or limitations of our partners.
- Prioritizing quality time: we focus more on the little things, like deep conversations and time spent together, rather than emphasize grand gestures.
- Focus on stability and security: we look for relationships that offer consistent and reliable situations, adding peace and calm to our lives, rather than the ups and downs of younger relationships.
What we sought out as a relationship in our younger years is not what attracts us today. We are looking for simpler, more meaningful relationships with depth and substance. Gone are the days of emotional upheaval and roller-coaster relationships. Gone are the shallow, inconsequentially physical relationships. Today we are looking for love that is defined by time spent together, being comfortable with each other, accepting our differences, supporting each other’s needs, and finding intimacy.
https://silverchats.com/why-dating-and-relationships-are-important-in-aging/
Positive and passionate relationships are fulfilling at any age, but at this point in our lives, they are associated with real health benefits. Let’s look at a more detailed list of the benefits of finding love in aging:
- Boosts Immunity: love and affection are immune boosters to reducing the risk of illness. It releases hormones like oxytocin and increases white blood cells and antibodies.
- Lead a happier life: love brings joy to your life. Research shows a strong link between having loving relationships and life happiness
- Lowers blood pressure: we touch on the release of oxytocin when we get a hug or other physical touch because it releases nitric oxide, which dilates blood vessels, reducing blood pressure and lowering free radicals
- Improves mental well-being: a loving relationship can reduce depression, stress, anxiety, and pain. It helps combat feelings of isolation and loneliness, adding to our mental wellness.
- Improves heart health: being in love can lower the risk of having a heart attack by relieving stress and lowering cortisol and adrenaline production.
- Active lifestyle: engaging in social activities and spending time with a romantic partner can lead to a more active lifestyle, which increases our physical and mental well-being and has a positive effect on our health.
Whatever you want to call it, “companionship” or “senior love” seeking a loving relationship in our golden years highlights our need for emotional connection, shared experiences, and intimacy. We all want a close, deep, supportive partner, no matter what stage of life. Today we discussed the differences in aging love and the health benefits of having it in our lives. Age has no bearing on a person’s ability to give or receive love. What our age allows is the wisdom to enjoy love, cherish love, and appreciate its beauty.
“Relish love in your old age! Aged love is like aged wine: it becomes more satisfying, more refreshing, more valuable, more appreciated, and more intoxicating.” -Leo Buscaglia